Thursday, July 19, 2007

Heartbreaking

I stalked the postman last night. He came just as I was taking Abel to soccer. I jumped out of my car and ran to him before he was even at my house. I stood impatiently waiting for him to gather my mail and pointed to a small package that I knew was the video. I said THAT is what I'm waiting for...he had no clue really, except that I was weird....

I waited until soccer was over and we were all home and hudled in front of the tv. My heart fell.....These children are so beautiful and so scared and mostly sad. You wouldn't be able to tell just from seeing their pictures, or the video. But when the translator asks the children if they know their family history, and they say that their mom and dad have died of AIDS, you "see" it, and feel it.

I don't even know how to explain how heartbreaking that is.
I said out loud, "we could take those kids

BUT, what is encouraging is looking at the list that AAI has sent us, along with the video and seeing as they come on screen that a sibling group of 3 are on hold, or placed. That is encouraging.

We are waiting to talk to AAI. It is not as easy as seeing beautiful children. We have to take into account their "levels of age" (that is my term) For example, a 10 year old's physical age (which might be older or younger than Abel (but they don't celebrate birthdays and don't really know how old they are--there are guesses and semi-medical ways of telling.), school age (which might be a lot younger than Abel's because of language, and lack of schooling.), life experience age, (which might be older than Abel because of say, living on the street for 4 years.), and emotional age (which could be a blend, of not having stability and care, and then of seeing both your parents die, or abandon you.). All these issues blended together will have to be taken into account. Whew...not easy.

Update:
We are going to slow down just a bit. After talking to AAI, we are going to go on our trip--watch a suggested video series and not get wound up in picking children right...this...minute.
Prayers are requested! Thanks!

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